where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
