I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
