where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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