If i come over, it means nothing
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
