it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
