For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
