good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
