i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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