I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
