careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
sick fucks of a feather flock together
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
