hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize