my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
