Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
