shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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