Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
