Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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