I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
