I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
