I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
