I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
pray to the hookup gods
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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