i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
