singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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