He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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