OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
