I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
