She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
