I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
