I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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