I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
