so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
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I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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