I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's never too late to be topless.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
