that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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