Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
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