i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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