I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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