I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize