My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize