with your own penis?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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