She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
