I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
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