Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
