All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
