She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
