I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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