Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
