vagina is talking i cant
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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