just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
im on a boat
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