You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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