there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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