I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
