Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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