He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
