just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
