What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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