she kept yelling 'call me bella'
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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