something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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