I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Randomize
