I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
