I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize